What Makes and Breaks Relationships

The Transcript:

(Visual Description of Episode) – Video opens with upbeat music and views of New York City, while Aidan Mack exercises with a jumprope.

The screen shifts to her turning down a road lined with green trees in a red motorcycle, while a red car passes by. Aidan Mack then appears in a fancy closet/fitting room wearing a black dress with black heels, while she spins around looking in the mirror. The screen then shows Aidan Mack sitting in a dressing room at a Hollywood-style vanity mirror, lined in a circle with bright light bulbs where the camera films her reflection in the mirror as she flips her hair and whips out her magenta, pink lipstick applying it to her lips with a grin into the mirror. Aidan Mack is then seen in the center of New York City, standing in the middle of Time Square where the camera circles her as she looks around with an astonished look in her eyes and face at the flashing lights and billboards surrounding her. The host, Aidan Mack then opens her show as she walks down Time Square’s glowing, ruby-red stairs while bystanders sitting behind her on the stairs watch her introduce her show in American Sign Language (ASL).  

The screen shifts to The Aidan Mack Show logo (dark blue and black background with a cartoon figure of Aidan Mack in a black dress and heels holding up the ASL hand shape for ‘I Love You,’ standing next to three shopping bags (pink, blue, and yellow) lined up in size order with the website: www.aidanmack.com below.

Episode opens with Aidan Mack wearing a black and beige colored jacket with a silver zipper on the side of it matched with black pants and black loafer slip on flats. Her brown, short hair is worn down and she is wearing dark red lip stick. She is sitting in front of a vintage, finished wood panels that creates a tarnished-bronze and brown looking wood background on a hot pink chair that is formed in the shape of a big hand.  On the wood behind her, displays The Aidan Mack Show logo on Aidan’s right with 3 pictures of pink hearts as trees in pink grass to the side of the logo, each one with different background sky colors.  Below the logo is a small black table against the wall that has a glass vase with pink, red, and white flowers inside of it. In front of the flowers is a picture that says, “You can do anything” with two flowers below it. There is a pink and white striped coffee mug next to the picture that says, “Do what you (shape of a heart).”

 

Hello everyone and welcome to The Aidan Mack Show!

(insert picture of Aidan dressed in all black gear on her red motorcycle with green trees in the background)

I’m looking forward to the Spring already because I just can’t wait to ride on my motorcycle again and feel that feeling of the wind blowing through my hair. As I’m driving around I see all the flowers blooming, trees and their leaves coming back, and so much green all around. It’s beautiful watching animals run around, seeing love in the air, families together, and cute little fur babies being born into the world. There’s something special in the air during the spring time. It’s the time for romance, people are out and about mingling. There’s some kind of spell or something that makes people fall head over heels for one another.

(insert screen of a sunset and two hands forming a heart with the sunset in the middle and a picture of a couple forming a heart with their arms and hands touching each other on the beach)

Which makes it the perfect time to talk about things that hurt relationships.

(insert picture of Patrick Star from Spongebob with his head resting on his hands and a bunch of pink hearts around him as he has a gaze on his face)

For some people, it’s love at first site. Everything is perfect in the beginning. Nothing’s wrong in the relationship. A perfect match. Both agree on everything and there are no arguments. Its going great and on the right track. That kind of love is the first stage of love. Love is in the air but ..they haven’t really assessed the relationship, because both are high on love.

(insert picture of a while male and female couple arguing using gestures and a picture of two males in a relationship arguing)

Some start to think about the possibilities that could hurt their relationships and how to prevent that from happening.

(insert picture of a black couple arguing using gestures)

(insert a screen of a bunch of words, “how, why, which, where, what” in grey and white colors)

So I did some research and I was intrigued with what I found and I think you’ll be too!

(insert screen of a red heart with a bandaid over it)

So now let’s dive into what can hurt a relationship. Being defensive.

(insert screen that covers the full screen of the show of a white couple arguing using gestures, the female has her hand up to the man and has her head turned away)

People are trying to expressive their feelings but their partners become defensive. Couples feel like their message is not getting across to their partners. That’s one way of hurting a relationship!

(insert a picture of another couple arguing)

Being contempt is another way to hurt a relationship.

(insert black and white photo of a couple arguing and a screen with a bunch of red words on it: “loser, gay, fat, slut, weak, douchebag, bitch, loner, ugly, stupid, and nerd”

It starts with eye rolling, making light of a situation by taunting, laughing, making fun of, or teasing your partner. Falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, throwing things in people’s faces to make them feel crappy, gas lighting, by changing people’s words and thoughts to make them think they’re doing something wrong when they’re not. The list goes on and on of different acts of contempt that people use to make their partner feel powerless.

For instance, name calling. Like, get out you no good! You’re a pig. You’re fat. You’re ugly. All the names in the book, makes us feel terrible about ourselves. That will definitely hurt a relationship.

(insert a picture of a female in bed looking not entertained and bored)

Lack of sex. In the beginning there was so much romance and intimacy but then the fire went out and people don’t click. They feel like something is missing. Now it’s time for some change. Maybe your sex drive has decreased. Maybe you have more of a sex drive than you had before. Who knows?

(insert screen of a word “inflexibility” and another screen that says “expectations/reality”

Not being a flexible partner, unrealistic expectations, and unwillingness to adapt can hurt a relationship.

(insert screen that has two arrows that say “my way or the highway”)

Not communicating your goals to one another and work things out together, instead it’s my way or the highway. People lack willingness to change to make this work. So many limitations and unrealistic expectations that can’t ever be met. Which makes people feel like their failing at their relationships and we end up not feeling good about ourselves. That’s why many relationships crumble to an end.

(insert picture of a figure walking down stairs that are red leading nowhere)

Some feel like they’re lacking in individual growth and having the space they so desperately need.

(insert picture of a girl sitting inside of a circle drawn in chalk that says the word “me”)

They feel like sometimes their partners are invading their space.

(insert picture of man walking alone on the beach)

People need time for themselves. We can’t get to know ourselves better if we have people on our case demanding to always bring them wherever we go. Some feel like they’re missing as an individual, where’s that me time for me to grow as a person. Many feel like they don’t know who they are anymore. Sometimes, couples get so wrapped up in their partners’ life that they forget their own life and lose themselves in their relationship.

(insert a couple sitting in a restaurant ignoring each other on their phones and another cartoon picture of a girl ignoring another girl with her head turning away)

Of course, lack of communication ruins a relationship.

(insert a picture of a man and a woman pulling a rope from each side)

Miscommunication, vague messages, lying, micromanaging, everyday it’s a different story, and defensiveness are all examples of lack of communication. It’s not effective. Couples need to hear each other out and have mutual respect each other. Sometimes even agree to disagree. Try to see each other perspectives. Sadly most people don’t even bother to communicate which results into their partners not feeling good about the relationship.

Having a controlling partner who wants you to always agree with them and only do things that they want to do.

(insert screen of two apples that are both looking at each other, and underneath says, “same”)

You can’t go venture out and do your own thing, you must do what they do at all times. If they can’t go that means you can’t go. Some people get trapped in those kinds of relationships. It’s important to give your partner that time despite you not being able to. Then they can come back and fill you in on how great of a time they had. They’ll actually have news to share as opposed to doing the same old thing.

Which goes back to the loss of sex doing the same thing over and over again. Unwillingness to venture out and try new things. If you want to have a long happy relationship you got to spice things up. Have that conversation of what you’re willing and not willing to try, which will better prepare your relationship for the future to maintain a healthy one.

Since the beginning of time one issue that happens all too often even mental health professionals chime in and the foundation of a healthy relationship it tends to be trust.

(insert picture of 5 blocks that each have a letter on them, T, R, U, S, T)

Only trust can prevent all the ways I’ve mentioned already; the defensive partner, loss of sex, lack of individual growth, no communication, and unrealistic expectations. All of these stem from not having trust.

(insert screen that says, “The Cycle of Trust,” and has a circle around it with terms, “need to control,” “unilateral decisions,” “feelings of impotence,” “sense of alienation,” “Us vs. Them,” and “mistrust” in a circle)

When theres no trust in the relationship you can expect these negative behaviors to intrude and ruin the relationship.

(insert picture of a beach with sandals on the sand and the terms “the foundation of a relationship is trust”)

Having that trust you’re always reassured that no matter what comes up that you both get through it together. This helps commitments last longer and there’s less suspicion, less fighting and more of the good stuff. Trust is key and foundation for a healthy relationship.

(insert picture of two stick figures reaching for each other while one is falling with the words, “Are you building trust or mistrust?”)

Once you notice anything negative coming up in the relationship it always comes back to having no trust. The second you have those feelings talk about them. Those discussions are crucial for having a healthy relationship. Two-way communication, despite not agreeing or being able to see the it their way. Despite it all you still deserve to be respected.

(insert yellow screen that says “validation” with a blue box and a check in side of it)

Listen to each other and validate each other’s feelings. You may not understand what they’re feeling but validate that feeling anyway. Relationships take a lot of hard work; successes, goals, stress, pain, disappointments, anger, and being comfortable with each other.

(insert picture of two stick figures that are both in the shape of puzzle pieces the blue one says, “partner” and the red one says, “ship”)

Be equals, always be fair, trust each other, and your relationship will last.

You know monogamy is not easy. It’s hard to do, there’s a lot of temptation out there. There are a lot of choices. There’s a lot of apps, technology makes it so easy to access our temptations. But it’s not natural like going into your car and going to work isn’t natural. But still we get into our cars and go to work. It’s the same with commitments and relationships, if you really want this person, you want it to work, you’ll find a way make that commitment last. Monogamy is possible. But make sure you think twice because it can be challenging it’s something to discuss. Remember anything negative that comes in the way that drains us emotionally it always comes down to not having that trust.

(insert screen of a grey piece of paper that says “trust” and is ripped in half)

I hope this helps you all look and understand relationships better and also keep an eye out for red flags.

(insert screen of a red flag that says, “RED FLAG WARNING” on it in white letters)

Sometimes we fall so hard and so fast but we have to pay attention to make sure we aren’t impacted negatively and allow things to creep into the relationship which causes you to be stuck in a bad one. To prevent that, avoid it.

One more thing about avoiding, people who tend to avoid conflicts and doesn’t talk about them is a bad sign for the relationship. It’s important to get through the conflicts and have those discussions and hear each other out. Like the famous Robert Frost once said, “The best way out is always through.” I second that!

(The two interpreters appear signing, “Thank you, Bye!”)

Thank you Domenick and Casey for your great voice over! Thanks guys!

Make sure you share, comment, and subscribe to my show!

Bye everyone!

(The Aidan Mack Show logo appears again. (dark blue and black background) with a cartoon figure of Aidan Mack in a black dress and heels holding up the ASL hand shape for ‘I Love You,’ standing next to three shopping bags (pink, blue, and yellow) lined up in size order with the website: www.aidanmack.com below.) A white screen with social media websites appears directly after.)

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